My show with some other cool ladies

www.facebook.com/events/207495906016814

A spring stroll chicago style

Nothing like walking in the sun, next to some fine grafitti, with flowering trees dropping petals that drift softly in the breeze, birds chirping... Starting to feel like some serious skipping is in order, only to trip over a evian bottle of pee and a human turd... Sweet home Chicago...lol

YOGA!!!!!!!!!!

TRY TO GET THIS OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

why are my posts not posting?

seriously

A friend sent this to me:

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

- Glennon Melton, huffington post

 

I think it beautifully states  How I feel as a mother and how I feel about life in general. I have been getting really sappy about being alive lately for a while and in the next second I am really angry and annoyed because I am not in charge of everything I want to have happen right now... we at least to an extent I am not. 

 I often find myself screaming inside Grow Already ! So meany good Ideas and so many new ideas all the time and never enough time to do them all, and guilt upon guilt for having ideas outside of being a mother and a wife.  This little life has brought me so much opportunity and open mindedness I never would have imagined possible and I dont want to leave him out, or my husband either....

 And arent we all confused about who we were who we are and where we are going? Why then are we tourcher ourselves for an answere? Isnt this moment, this breath, this beautiful vision we can use to see... Isnt that enough? I have a feeling If we all died right now we would wish we thought about it like that while we had had the chance. 

Laughing keeps us present keeps us from losing our minds. The pain of being only in this plain are small and superficial, even the huge ones are an obstacle for growth and change. And even the ones that rip your soul out are there so you can re-cultivate what the soul has meant to you because you have been on the brink of loss. Im just saying what if you htought about it like all of this is a gift?

Well I Thought Id Say...

I havent slept in like a year and some change, and I chase My 1 yr old all over the damn place, I work a data entry job from home as soon as he goes to bed and sometimes the only moments I remember I am married is when I am dozing while working and am shocked back into the land of the living by either my husbands farts or loud snoring since mainly what we do is sleep side by side… Wait I should say he sleeps I work… I have absolutely no Idea how this shit will play out…Yes life is great and yes I ADORE my sone and love my husband. But Man I have never been so exhausted and anxious about deadlines and being a good mom! FUCK! I shake all the time now from being anxious, Im fatter and more forgetful, less witty, but hey now I have tits…hmm Just taking that in….
I have no Idea what happened to my dreams but I find myself constantly thinking of art projects and romancing them, and wishing for time I never get. I work all 7 days and have since february, Ive made some new friends but have no energy to go thru all the new friend bonding… What the hell is happening to me?
 Some could say I am becoming a parent, others could say I am just fucking whining and maybe I could shut up! Wish I worked for Pixar, wish I was rich and had a mothers helper, wish I wasn't avoiding working as I write this (since all extracurricular activities are only done when I avoid work since I AWAYS have to work) Wish Id found myself, wish a ton of things but lets be real, I am Sold to the mothering trade. This means You quit sleeping, watch your man sleep (if you have one) And then work as much as you can, That is just for starters! Other things have changed in the hygiene department as well! Like now be sure to Always smell the brown spots on your arms hands or clothes; because chances are that isn't chocolate, or mud or nail polish, you got shit on, You will now never have time to clean your house or shower, There is also no time to cook like you used to, or draw or write like you used to, and everyone but everyone is weird when you complain! You are a mother now, How Lovely how satisfying how beautiful! Why complain? You have a perfect little person and perfect married life! (Funny how this weird june cleaver shit still exists but seriously childless people are fucked up) This is your life get used to it right? Why yes Ill just get on that! Ill quit all the things I love and be SOOOOO Grateful when i get a few seconds to myself and resign from my ambitions. If my husband has the baby for a day I will feel sorry he changes 2 shitty diapers and jump right up with all my fucking pep to change the next one since I feel so fucking bad for him. I will dress nicely and wear heels and stop cursing (yeah right) and join the damn PTA hoping I will match someone and find a friend, and if I do we will pretend we are in the fucking babysitters club and Ill be treasurer or something. I will delete all my Childless friends who almost have forgotten me and Thats ok. Then I will put potpourri in my bathroom, get a 401K and live in a house that smells like a headache and get fat ugly and become a push over….WHEW! Got a bunch of shit to do huh?

No seriously I don't know what has happened I just really hope this changes soon…PS yeah that was all sarcasm if you couldn't tell stop reading this blog all together.